Monday, July 6, 2009

Fat Ass Mama Challenges Obama


Hey, Sarah.... where'd ya go?


Sarah not here no mo, but has been replaced by Super Fat Ass Mama who will now offer HER Obama Challenge.




I challenge you to bend over and touch your toe while looking completely graceful in a pair of black spandex britches and perhaps a red hat? Can you come up with this gear, Obama? I mean, Mr. President. How rude of me to forget your title.



Uh, maybe if you sit on a rock it would be easier to touch the toe.



I'm working on preparing for our challenge, but my fat ass keeps tipping over. Ooopsie Daisey... heh heh... almost fell off the rock and injured myself and this could require additional medical insurance. Good thing my hubby is employed and I have coverage. Whew! Kind of a scary activity for those without benefits now isn't it?


Bend and *ouch ouch ouch* stretch... Muscles are pulling but I'm almost there. How you doin' Mr. President? Feeling the burn?


Now pose to the right as the camera captures your next magazine photo shoot


And pose to the left. *my best side*


Now, feign distaste for the media cuz you KNOW they're gonna say nasty things and it's gonna hurt your feelings.


Just take it all out on David Letterman... ya, that's right. Shake your finger at him and make him apologize. That'll make you look tough, Mr. President. It's what I would do if I were running for your job. I'd shake my finger like a fat mama at him.



And don't forget to tell John Kerry what an ugly face he has....




Now, are you ready, Obama? Are you getting all this down? Cuz this fat mama is gonna race circles around you in 2012. Just watch me run faster than you in 2012. That's right. I'm a bad ass fat mama and you ain't seen nothing yet.



But first I have to get a book deal and raise millions.

Ready. Set. Go.

Love,
Fat Ass Mama

P.S. I live in Virginia and I can see Russia from my house.

17 Of The Groovy People Said:

Living on the Spit said...

LOL...well, you just got my vote!!!

Pop and Ice said...

If I do a little bounce, I can touch my toes. Does that count?

Linda said...

You get my vote! Tell it like it is!

This is me... said...

LOVE IT!

Just Breathe said...

Great post, it was a fun read.
I would certainly vote for you!

steppinthru said...

I've been gone for a week and you just gave me my first really big laugh of the week. Thanks & you can count on my vote too!

Hilary said...

FUNNY stuff!!!!!!!
Great......I loved it!

Gail said...

First, I would like to point out that a fat ass(which you do not have) is much easier to work with than a large tummy.

I can't see my toes! If I sat on a rock, I would have to let gravity roll me over to my tummy then rock to get back up.

I am seriously considering a new exercise program while I am eating chocolate and drinking Dr Pepper.

You do have my vote.

Teri said...

I am thinking about instaling a keg and a fridge next to the treadmill.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Di, you are so darn cute, I can hardly stand it! And ps. you've got my vote.

Amy Tate said...

Diane, I would love to have been sitting with your dogs, watching ya'll take those pictures!!!! You are too funny! I liked Sarah Palin, but I am so disappointed in her. The media will have a hay day with this one.

Becky said...

Okay, I must be missing something. (You do not have a big butt.) And are you poking fun at Obama or Palin?

Jeannelle said...

Clever photo shoot! I'd say your stretch techniques are more authentic than Gov Palin's by a long shot. And you didn't undo your top enough.....you can't be a pin-up model that way!

Wsprsweetly Of Cottages said...

OHMYGOD! You ARE the most gutsy little gal I have ever known...and..you are SO good at it!
HIP HIP HOORAY!
See? I HATE myself for missing all this good stuff...GRRRRRR

The Blue Ridge Gal said...

Thought about opening the top, Jeannelle, but did not want anything flapping in the wind with the top down so to speak. *giggles* Besides, I strive to be family friendly here.. hee hee

Di
The Blue Ridge Gal

Wendy said...

ROTFL. I touched my toes the other day. Haven't been able to walk since then.

LadyStyx said...

ROTFLMAO! Touch my toes?? I can't even SEE them! *sigh* Ok ok *bends with a creak* yup I can ~just~ touch my toes (thank goodness I havent trimmed my finger nails recently).