Bears, Dog Poop and Fuzzy Hats

The cold weather we are having this week reminds me vividly of why I never wanted to stay in the midwest and promptly left shortly after graduation.  As Missy can tell you, it's hard on the bones for we old dogs.  She's been experience heavy limping lately so she wears her brace daily now so her foot won't drag.

I dragged a bit this morning too when it was only 23 degrees outside and the new baby items I purchased for daughter and son-in-laws newest foster child required a trip to the post office.  For gosh sakes!  It's only a few miles up the road and yet a person must put on gloves in order to be able to grasp the chilly steering wheel firmly.

A Fuzzy Russian hat and brightly colored scarf is also a HUGE requirement for the three mile drive, just in case you become stranded roadside on the Alt, 220 Hiway for days and have to be out foraging for nuts and berries to get you through a few days until the rescue team finds you.

Be sure to wear your fugliest pair of sweats too.  Bears in the woods love old blonde women in baggy sweats for breakfast.  On the other hand, the fuzzy Russian hat helps to distract them.  They'll think you're just another bear and....*yawns* what a bore that will be to a bear.  They rarely eat their own kind you know.

And last but certainly not least.... when traveling to the post office where you will be standing in a long line of Christmas Package mailing fanatics, why not wear your tacky old, dirty and maimed slippers.  Sure, you just wore them out in the yard to pick up dog poop yesterday, but you took a stick and swiped it off, so surely no one in the postal line will smell it, right?

DANG!  I'm such a total Christmas Babe.  Just slap a bow on me and stick me under the tree.