Ever known her? The woman who simply cannot get past her divorce and move on even though he abused her emotionally, or vice versa. Maybe she was the one who nagged constantly or lied about having paid the charge cards that she had driven up to tens of thousands in balances she knew they could never pay. The woman who knows he's totally messed up but wants him back anyway. The woman who blames it all on his new wife rather than accepting her own faults and working on her own issues.
Ever want to just
I've often wondered about women who do this to themselves... wallow in their past rather than move into the present. They'd rather live in the memories of what they consider to have been 'the best years of their life' than take the chance of meeting someone new and risk giving their heart away once again.
If you know 'her', please tell her to get her life together and move on. It's difficult to be a friend to or even to like a wallower. She doesn't have to feel alone. Her friends are after all right here waiting for her. Hand her a glass of wine and insist that she move on with her life because her friends love her, single or not.
The Holiday Season
4 Of The Groovy People Said:
Have known a few.....
Great post....
Enjoy.....LindaMay
Been there. Done that. Great post. I remember my first Christmas when my girls went to their dad's and I sat alone looking at the lights blinking on the tree wondering if I would ever be happy again.
It's a difficult road with many bumps along the way, but it can be done.
No divorce here, Di, but death is a different kind of devastation. Perhaps not rejection, but it is a place we cannot go and are unwanted. I wallowed for four years and my children thought it was permanent. Yesterday it was 12 years since his stroke. The fifteenth of December will mark the 12th anniversary of his death. I am not over him. But you know that already. I just don't go there in my mind.
Soon it became obvious to me that my friends were backing off. They didn't know what to do with one that could not go forward and I couldn't. Sadness was the only company I had.
And then I met a nice man, and he wanted me. Not one I "fell in love" with, but one I admired and knew I could learn to love. And I did. Once again, I lost him to cancer..but it was different this time. I moved forward very soon..within a year.
Yes, I've known someone like that.
Others also, who pride themselves on being faithful to the "memory."
Pat would have been disappointed in me had I "wallowed" as you so beautifully put it!
Great post, Di! But then all of yours are! :)
Many hugs to you, Sweetie!
Mona
You are so right. As someone that has been on both sides I understand the frustration on both sides. It's a sad place to be when your stuck down in the pits and can't seem to see beyond it.
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